Misfit Therapy
by Red Witch
Summary: Lina and Angelica learn what a typical group therapy session with the Misfits is like.


**I don't own any X-Men Evolution or GI Joe characters. This fic takes place during 'A Tale of Two Angels', before the visit to the X-Men. Just more insane nonsense, but it feels so cleansing to write down…**

**Misfit Therapy**

"Here we are," Lance grumbled as the majority of the Misfits got settled into Psyche-Out's office. (Spyder and the Triplets were excused since they had their own private sessions.) "Group therapy sucks!" 

"Well General Hawk thought it was a good idea for all of you to have extra therapy, especially after the incident with the ferrets in Beach Head's office. I'm amazed that you kids didn't get KP duty because of it," Psyche-Out remarked.

"Well one, Hawk knew that we intended it for Beach Head," Lance told him. "Second the ferrets did get all the bubble gum out of his uniform."

"Bubble gum?" Psyche-Out raised an eyebrow.

"Blame Falcon and Tunnel Rat for that," Pietro explained. "Turns out they played a practical joke just before we did. Of course the intended target was Beach Head again." 

"O-Kay," Psyche-Out blinked. "I would have thought that would have made Hawk angrier."

"It did," Althea remarked. "That's when my father showed up holding a box marked 'ferrets' and asked us where we put his stash." 

"Your father had a stash of live ferrets?" Psyche-Out asked.

"Yeah he was gonna use 'em for some kind of betting scam," Althea nodded. "Blabbed it right in front of Hawk that he used his credit card too. And he was in on it with Falcon. That's when Hawk really hit the roof."

"Ah," Psyche-Out nodded. "That explains why Hawk was chasing Shipwreck and Falcon around with a baseball bat out on the target range." 

"And why Hawk decided that group therapy would be an even bigger punishment for us," Lance groaned. 

"Not to mention nearly half the base was already sentenced to KP duty after taking potshots at Hawk with water balloons," Psyche-Out sighed. 

"When was this?" Fred asked. 

"On the target range," Pietro explained. "Oh that's right you and Lina were rounding up the ferrets. And I bet that's not all you were doing…"

"Quit it Pietro!" Wanda smacked him on the arm. "Stop teasing them!"

"Wanda you know that's not how we express ourselves in therapy," Psyche-Out said sternly. He handed her a padded mallet. 

"Sorry," Wanda apologized. Then she whacked Pietro on the head with it. 

"So this is therapy huh?" Angelica asked Lance. 

"Yeah really gives you faith in the medical system around here doesn't it?" Lance replied sarcastically. 

"Well let's start shall we?" Psyche-Out clapped his hands together. "Who'd like to go first? How about you Lina, since you're new?"

"Oh yeah Psyche," Althea quipped. "Way to make her feel comfortable."

"There's no need to feel awkward," Psyche-Out said. "We're all friends here."

"Since when?" Pietro asked. 

"You are **not **helping," Althea casually took the padded mallet from Wanda and bonked Pietro on the head with it. 

"Believe me Lina I know exactly how you feel," Arcade grumbled. "And I ain't even a mutant! I think I'd like the Anger Buddy now."

"The what?" Angelica asked.

"The Anger Buddy," Psyche-Out took out a life-size dummy and handed it to Arcade. "This is specially designed to help vent out frustration. Instead of hurting real people, we hurt this inanimate object."

"It's not nearly as fun as the real thing," Pietro remarked. "But it does help." 

"Yeah my folks were real winners," Arcade said sarcastically. He glared at the object. "Good grades and being well mannered weren't good enough for them. Being a genius wasn't enough, oh nooooooooooooooooo! They just couldn't be bothered with me! They didn't even bother to ship me off to some dumb boarding school! Thought it would be cheaper to send me to public school and **they'd** take off and leave me at home!" 

"That's horrible," Lina said.

"You're darn right it's horrible!" Arcade began to throttle the dummy. "I make one tiny little mistake and they throw me out on my ear! But they…Oh the stuff that they've done at parties…YOU PEOPLE ARE HYPOCRITICAL JERKS!" 

"Observe how by taking your anger out on the Anger Buddy, it diminishes your rage," Psyche-Out commented.

"YOU STUCK UP SOCIETY SLUGS OUGHT TO BE RUN OVER BY A STEAMROLLER!" Arcade had grabbed the mallet, removed the padded covering and was now hammering the dummy violently. "IN FACT NEXT TIME ON THE NET I'M GONNA LOOK UP A COMPANY THAT CHARGES BY THE HOUR! THEN WE'LL SEE WHO DESERVES TO LIVE IN A HOLE IN THE GROUND! MUAHAHAHAHA!" 

"Well that's the theory anyway," Psyche-Out sighed. 

"I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!" Arcade pounded on the dummy with the now broken mallet.

"Okay Arcade you're letting a little too much out," Psyche-Out told him. 

"How many of these things do you go through a week?" Lina asked Lance.

"A week?" Lance snorted. "I think we go through at least two or three of 'em a **session!**" 

"Lifeline's making a fortune off me," Psyche-Out groaned. "I don't know how Bree got him to patent the stupid thing. Good thing I get 'em at a discount." 

"I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU ALL!" Arcade howled as he stared to tear the dummy apart with his teeth. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" 

"As you can see Lina we really need another medic around here," Fred sighed. "Someone who knows how to use tranquilizers." 

"I can see why," Lina blinked. "Looks like you can use all the help you can get!" 

"I feel **so** much better about myself," Angelica groaned. 


End file.
